untitled 9/4/19

I wish to reach you but we’re on opposite sides, I could summon your spirit through supernatural forces, but I don’t want to run the risk of your ghost haunting me.

I’ve got enough skeletons buried in the catacombs of my chest— screaming because I didn’t suffocate them good enough.

What I’m trying to say is I’ll let time run its course.

Because my best friend wasn’t occupying that casket, it was just a corpse.

A body you once inhabited, a placeholder for the time being till your soul found a new resting place.

It wasn’t supposed to be on your terms.

And I know you fought back, the rope burns on your hands serve as enough evidence to that.

But you can’t cheat death.

You can’t go back.

There’s a lack of closure that infects the wound, making it impossible to heal.

Is it possible for the heart to shrink?

Because I don’t see mine growing from this loss.

It can be found tucked away behind all the scar tissue, just barley contracting.

I want to heal from this but I’m scared it means leaving you behind.

Our bond was broken by your self destruction- but I still loved you despite your change in direction.

Always chasing the taste of affection no matter the lack of sincerity tied to the hands that glided across your skin.

You felt that if they had the power to make your skin shiver- they were worthy of every ounce you had to offer.

You never thought to save some of that love for yourself.

But I just want you to know I love you.

And I miss you.

And there’s not a day where my heart doesn’t find you.

You left your mark on everyone you came in contact with, you can never be erased or replaced.

But then again maybe that’s what you wanted in the first place.

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