the aftermath of agony

I’ve lived through a thousand agonies.

I’ve felt time shift and dissolve into nothingness.

I’ve watched calloused hands reach into my throat and wrench loose my lungs.

I’ve tasted blood.

I’ve felt like a victim in my own body.

The wounds scab then scar over and sometimes the skin breaks by even the most gentle touch.

Sometimes I think in run on sentences.

I firmly believe we’re meant to die a few times before we really live.

I’ve never been anywhere other than where I am.

There are times I am swept away by the currents of your smile.

When the corners of your mouth rise, my heart falls deeper into the immense admiration.

You’re a soft reminder that there’s clarity.

Someone once told me time was fake, but you- you remind me that at times it’s the only thing that’s real.

Because through all these years when I was waiting for a rainbow to break through the clouds— you were the moon shining in my darkest nights.

I’m always set on tomorrow’s, as long as they’re spent with you.

That, that my love is what I look forward to.

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